Who Am I?

A few weeks ago I had an awakening.  Almost literally.

I woke up one morning and I got my hair cut and colored by a stylist – new to me.  Color hasn’t touched my hair in Years, so this was a pretty aggressive and trusting move that is very atypical for me.  Then I signed up for 1-month unlimited pass to my local Pure Barre (I’d never even walked in there before) and started going 3-4 x a week… and I LOVE it.  I have found it impossible to consistently work out for 5+ years and now suddenly I’m like In It with the leggings and the sticky socks and the 110% commitment.  Next I found myself with a really appealing job offer for a competing firm.  I can’t even believe how fast it happened and I’ve never had such an easy breezy attitude about something like this.  If that wasn’t enough, I took BOTH of the kids to a local holiday party by myself to a restaurant where I knew like nobody.  The kids have severe food allergies so they never go to restaurants, and random holiday parties are totally not my thing.  Also that day, I found myself telling my boss exactly what I needed in order to stay at my current job in a very clear, concise, and reasonable way.  Literally I listed 3 things that I needed and when I needed them by.  It almost felt like an out of body experience because the whole thing went so well and normally this would be a very anxiety inducing moment.  Later that night he called me and I like told him all these ideas I had and what I wanted to do and seriously, I was like: Who Am I?!  I’m going to bring in new business?  But Yes, I can do it.

All of those things are really outside of my normal comfort zone, but somehow I went into each of those moments with complete calm and very matter-of-fact kind of attitude.  It’s like one day I just became a different person almost or like I somehow found things that are normally super uncomfortable to be totally like Whatever.  Am I going through a mid-life crisis?  Or am I just getting my mind and body back post-kids?  It feels very notable though, like I’ll remember this point of life where the tides suddenly shifted.  I’ve suddenly learned my value and my needs all at the same time…

I forgot to mention that a week ago, I was 5 minutes late to a meeting – and I’m Never Late.  I walked in as it was starting and then walked through a presentation to 25 important peeps like it was Nothing.  I’d usually be like OK but not great, but this was like a cake walk, and my boss was sitting right next to me.  I am a little bit freaked out at this new me.  Will it come to an end soon?  Will I start freaking out and like not being able to find the right words or like sweating again??

OK so I don’t even know where to go from here but 1. My core is getting really toned again and it’s like boggling my mind that all it took was like exercise (who knew….imagine that?), and 2. my husband let me take a weekend barre class and when I came home an hour later everyone was totally fine when I expected more of a circus, and 3. WTF?!!

More to come, my mid life crisis continues…

About Laura

Working mom trying to balance life and baby.
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