I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in like… 3 weeks and I’m starting to feel absolutely INSANE.  Harrison is still screaming when we put him down and then screaming at some point during the night when Abe goes in there and sleeps with him.  Then his door broke and his child proof door knob thingie broke so he can escape his room.  He will wake up, go turn on his light, open his door and frantically run out – or very quietly creep out.  Friday night we woke up to him just standing in our doorway at 12:30am.  It was the most terrifying moment ever.  Like it seriously scared the shit out of me.

Bennett has been waking and crying 2-3 times a night for the past 2 weeks.  He did have an ear infection but then his ear cleared up, and his cold cleared up too, and he continued to wake and scream.  We also just exited a leap according to The Wonder Weeks so he Should be more chilled out.  Could be teething?  I don’t know.  Since I don’t think he is sick, I’m fine with letting him cry it out except I seriously Do Not want him to wake up Harrison.  So sometimes I let him cry it out, and sometimes I have to go in there and calm him down and put him to sleep because the dude can get super loud now.  It sort of grates on my soul… I mean, I don’t want to make the same mistakes with Bennett’s sleep that we made with Harrison and when I react by running in there, that’s what I feel like I’m doing.

This morning I got Bennett back to sleep at like 5:45 but then Harrison woke up screaming and like ran out of his room like an effing tiny raging maniac and it woke up Bennett.  I was like ready to kill everyone.  I’m still ready to kill everyone!

I can’t take it anymore.  I want thicker doors.  I want children who sleep – is that asking too much?  Apparently it is.

I do really crazy stuff when I get overtired and annoyed.  Today I went and got my car washed and I vacuumed out the inside at 9:30am, like that is crazy shit.  I haven’t done that since like October.  Instead of eating lunch, I went to Target and Buy Buy Baby searching for a new/different babyproof doorknob thing and then ate a dark chocolate and caramel candy bar.  Are your kid’s Easter baskets all stocked and ready to go?  Mine are.  And what else?  I have another batch of raman for dinner tonight.  I made appointments with an Ear Nose Throat doctor for both kids.  I even did this madness to Harrison and Bennett’s bedroom doors:

IMG_9193It seemed like a cute idea at the time but now I’m looking at it and I find it way more frightening than it was meant to be.  Harrison didn’t cry when he saw it and that’s all that matters!

Tomorrow will be a better day… or I’ll make more raman.

About Laura

Working mom trying to balance life and baby.
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One Response to Delirious

  1. Randomly found your blog, and even though I only had one kid, I can relate to a lot of what I’ve read on here so far! It’s amazing how tough this is… !

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