Patience Does Not Live Here

My new computer is coming on Monday – I’m so excited.  Fighting with this thing has tested my patience more than little H does on a daily basis, and last night I bathed him while holding him with one hand in the tub and scrubbed him with the other hand as he screamed at me.  Even that was less frustrating than this machine.  He desperately had to get clean though – today is school photo day AND he brought him a whole bunch of sand from the sandbox somehow in his clothing and diaper.

We have a bunch of house stuff going on right now simultaneously of course.  My dad is currently painting the baby’s room (but I’m running up and down the stairs to bring him stuff every five minutes – argh, if I hear him yell my name one more effing time…), we ordered new kitchen counter tops and they are going to measure tomorrow, we found the kitchen cabinets we’ll be ordering to refinish, and we planted seedlings for the garden on Sunday so hopefully Some of them actually grow – H “helped” so I’m not really sure what to expect here.  This year we decided to try: cucumbers, 2 kinds of tomatoes, basil, and corn.  The corn is pretty adventurous, but the rest are sort of like the “easy” things to grow.  We don’t have green thumbs, so just getting this far is a pretty huge accomplishment.

So my dad (bless his heart) has been really overly eager to help with the baby room for some reason.  He’s been asking to paint it for like 3 whole months, so finally I caved and we are letting him do it.  However, “helping” in this situation is a classic example of why my parents helping has been not much help at all.  Although, he’s the one doing the actual painting – we got all the supplies, prepared the room, and I’ve been running up and down the stairs bringing him stuff for seemingly hours now.  At some point, I ran out to the grocery store and to get him some lunch, and when I was gone he shut off the washing machine because it was so loud that he thought something was wrong with it – it’s just loud.

So this leads me to – Things That My Dad Has Said That Has Super Annoyed Me This Month… (totally understanding that we will be in his shoes in 30 years):

  • H was bathing one night when Abe was gone and my parents were over with me, and they were asking about his soap.  He just uses very basic soap per the recommendation of his dermatologist, and my dad starts to talk about how his soap is drying out his skin and my mom jumped all over that so they got into an argument about soap… SOAP!  There was a flurry of talking and yelling while standing in the bathroom holding wine glasses and then finally my dad was like, “It’s CVS brand and it was BEAUTIFUL for a long time!!”  I think I died laughing at him and just died at the same time.
  • That same night, we were going to order Bertucci’s takeout and I didn’t have a paper menu.  I just pull the menu up on my phone and asked my dad to do the same.  He starts to fiddle around and literally 10 minutes later, he goes: “how do I open up a browser?”  Honestly.  He has an iPhone, and he 1. doesn’t connect his email to it, and 2. has no idea how to use the internet on it.  He only uses it to make calls and text messages.  Being the caring daughter that I am, I immediately freak out, “WHY do you even have an iPhone Jesus!!”  Those are the most frustrating moments for me.  I also need to mention that he’s been to the Apple store and the Verizon store many times for them to show him how to do things – clearly it did not sink it.
  • Today, I was telling my dad about the addition that Abe is thinking about putting on the house in the future.  We got into an argument over the bathroom.  When people put an addition on, they typically don’t take away bathrooms – but that was his proposal and it was making me furious.  Something we don’t want in this house is Less bathrooms and stupid ideas.
  • When I got my dad lunch today, I had planned on going to Panera but there was no parking in their little lot so I just went to the sandwich making area in Market Basket and had them make subs for us since I had to go in there anyhow.  When I got back and put everything out for him to eat, he takes a few bites and he’s like, “that Panini makes a good sandwich.”  He’s really really bad with names of things, he gets people and location names wrong 99% of the time.
  • Little H is very little, like he’s short for his age so he has a lot of step stools around the house for him to be able to be more independent.  There is one at the water cooler so he can help press the button for water, one at his counter top helper so he can get in an out by himself, then one at his easel so he can draw higher up, and then in the bathroom there is one at the sink.  At my parents house, he just has 1 and I’m not really sure where they put it or what they use it for but there is 1 there.  So my dad said, “H has so many stools, I’ve been calling him the stool man.”  Like he said that in all seriousness.  I was like, “I probably wouldn’t call him the Stool man…geez.”

That is really only a small portion of the ridiculous shit that has been said recently, but the most memorable.  I think it means that I need to see my parents less often.  For some reason, my dad just touches some nerve with me so I’m instantly annoyed with him.  Hopefully the bedroom gets finished this week, and hopefully I don’t kill him in the process.

About Laura

Working mom trying to balance life and baby.
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