I have a very interesting relationship with my parents. I really don’t think it has anything to do with the fact that I’m adopted, but I do think it has a lot to do with the fact that I’m nothing like them. Are those somehow related? I’m not sure. I really believe that in the battle of nature vs. nurture, nurture tends to win out more often than not but who really knows. All I know is that my brother and I were raised exactly the same and I never felt adopted or anything, and we are completely different people – my brother very much like my parents and me Nothing like anyone in my family by a long shot… we even have different accents (I don’t have one and they All do).
As different as I am from my parents, I have learned a few things throughout my 30 years.
- Water a Christmas tree Every Single Day. If you don’t, it will dry up, and then the house will burn the Eff down.
- Take care of your yard and the outside of your house or you will be the shame of the neighborhood.
- If you want something to happen, sometimes you have to make it happen. You need to be the first person in line, the first person to raise you hand, and the first person to arrive to a sale.
- Turn every single light in the house off when you leave, because if you don’t, the house will burn the Eff down.
- The dog has to go to the bathroom before you go to bed, don’t be an idiot.
- When you lose power, do not open the fridge even once or your food will spoil and then the house will burn down.
- Donuts are meant to be eaten.
- Sunday “dinners” at 2pm. I’ve mostly gotten them to change this habit.
- They are always the early birds, it’s disturbing and confusing to Abe. Holidays are planned out months in advance, they’re always 15-30 minutes early to anything, and they expect Christmas lists by Thanksgiving. Once my dad drove us to the airport and he picked us up at 5am and had already gone and gotten a coffee and the newspaper because he had some extra time…
- Bread is served at every single dinner – no matter what you are eating.
- They don’t park their cars in the garage. Why? I still have no idea.
- They are super cheap when it comes to some things and then they’ll go and pay like $5M a month on cable and every single movie channel on the planet (and they have like 4 tvs in the house for 2 people), and go out to eat like 3 x per week.
- Instead of buying wine in cases to save money on something they use a lot of, they go to the liquor store like 4 x per week and buy like 1 bottle each time.
- They drink bottled water and instead of recycling the bottles, they just throw them away creating tons of garbage.
- My dad obsesses over the yard and the grass. In the summer he runs the sprinkler through a hose for hours, strategically moving it 20 feet here or there, but he refuses to put in a sprinkler system.
- They buy nothing in bulk, even when we were kids, they hated the idea of BJs or Costco.