Today was a rough day for me. I got a horrible night’s sleep and then set out on a “long run”, but really that meant that I was hoping to hit 5+ miles. I should have left earlier because it was just too hot out there for me by 10am (I’m loving my new running hat by the way, it’s not as warm as my regular old hat). I started on a bike path for the shade, and then decided to run down a main road to get to the river. There was a crosswalk, and there were no cars coming on the double lane near side so I crossed to the median and waited for the cars in the next two lanes to stop for me to continue. A car stopped for me and I waved and walked a bit and then I was half way across the crosswalk when all of a sudden a car came barreling down the road at 50mph right for me (speed limit is probably around 30). He didn’t slow down, didn’t even try to avoid me in any way. I quickly took one step back to get out of his way because at that speed it was either move or die. I would have been dead if he hit me, and I felt the wind whoosh right by me. This wasn’t like all the other times that people almost tapped me going very slowly, this was really traumatizing for me. I was practically in tears and decided to just deviate from my plan and run home. On the way there, I passed that same douchebag gray convertible that almost killed me. If I had my phone I could have walked right up and taken their picture before yelling at them. At the time, I quickly memorized the license plate but forgot it by the time I got home of course. It was the scariest 3 or 4 seconds of my life thus far.
I don’t know what lesson was learned here. Look both ways? I looked dammit so I don’t know. Maybe just expect that everyone is trying to take me out every time I get out there? I just ordered myself a RoadID bracelet so that when I am eventually flattened by some jerk driving a sports car, someone will know to call my husband or parents. I’ve become much better when it comes to paying attention to my surroundings while running but accidents happen and people get distracted easily in general.
Something I do know is that I would have had a lot of regrets if I died right then and there and that makes me really upset as well. There is nothing that I regret in life in general, but I’m definitely one of those people that sort of pushes things back and off for a while until I feel like the time is Right. For example, I’ve wanted a dog for at least 5 years now and where is it? Where is my dog? We could have found a dog friendly apartment to live in for the past 3 years but we never got around to it. What about all the places that I wanted to go to and see and all the things that I never got to do? I’ve never really been to Europe before… I’ve never been to Canada, or even Nantucket! It was always important to me that I see Korea at some point in life as well, but that also became somewhat less of a priority in my life over the years. I wasn’t thinking about how I wished I was thinner, or less acne prone, or smarter, or anything like that. I don’t think I’ll feel guilty over missing a run or a stretching session for the next few months. I don’t think this experience changed my life forever, but I think for a short period of time I will have a different outlook and be more proactive about life goals.