No city is entirely normal, but things are really strange around here this week.
On my Thursday evening 8 mile run a woman spit on me. Not like on me, but right at my feet as I ran by and it’s not like she didn’t see me coming. Why would anyone do this? She could have spit in the other direction or just not at all I mean she was carrying groceries not exercising.
Conversation on a regular day.
Me: I’ve been flossing a lot more since I went to this new Dentist.
Friend: Yeah, I mean I don’t know why I don’t floss more often. I’m always just sitting on the couch or in bed, I could just do it then.
Me: Wait… you floss in bed?
Me: What! No, that’s just gross, you don’t Actually do that do you?
Friend: Yeah I do.
Me: I’m telling you that’s not normal and it really is pretty gross. I’m really grossed out by that habit.
Friend: No! It’s not that bad, you are exaggerating.
Me: Ok, I need assistance on this one, you need to know this is not Ok. I mean besides the fact it was on The Marriage Ref and the country decided it was gross.
Third Party: Flossing anywhere but in the bathroom is completely unacceptable.
Me: I know, right? I would like breakup with someone over that.
Third Party: I wouldn’t even talk to them, I would throw that person off a cliff.
[Who’s exaggerating now?]
Today, saw a man drinking from a gallon of milk on a bench in an upscale mall. He was dressed nicely as if he were just taking a little lunch break but he happened to bring a gallon of milk instead of say a cup. I really hope he didn’t drink that whole thing. I feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it.
I just got an email asking me to volunteer for the Fluff Festival. Fluff was invented here and I can learn all about the millions of uses for it, and if I ever ate this mystery product I might actually do it.
This week in Boston they found an alligator in the Charles River. An Alligator Bs, and it was Real. I love wild life, but I do not like big chomping ugly creatures roaming free where I live.
There are thousands of fresh water jellyfish in Walden Pond. It makes no sense. My BFF said that world is ending, I can’t even get into the bizarre stuff that people are doing with Tylenol to kill snakes.
Anyways, Happy Friday, I know this post was a waste of time for many of you.
I hope everyone eats something delicious tonight!