A little freak out

Last night I had a dream that I ran half the Chicago marathon, at the halfway point I was flagged down by a couple friends and they wanted to go shopping.  I didn’t even think about it, I mean do you really think in dreams anyways?  So suddenly we were shopping with all these fun bags in tow and I was still in my sweaty hot pink running gear.  2 hours later I realized that I was actually running a race, so I jumped back onto the course and I was freaking out because A. I was so behind and B. It was getting embarrassing.  I woke up before I could finish the race.  I don’t like that dream at all… I had an Italian sub for dinner with extra pickles.  Was it the sub or was it my feelings of unpreparedness?  I’m sure that its a combination of both, and I woke up this morning feeling really stressed.  I feel so much weight on my shoulders right now: work, running, injury, the fact I’m missing half the skin on my nose because I scratched it off in an itchy rage and it’s taking forever to grow back, we haven’t bought our Chicago plane tickets yet, there are birthdays to remember and presents to send, and I have three books waiting to be read, I have a licensing exam in a month and I haven’t even cracked the book yet, I broke a glass on the floor and haven’t been able to find all the glass pieces except when they pop up in someone’s foot, you know I just feel drained and overwhelmed and like I’ve lost total control.

There is a freaking hurricane heading this way… I don’t really know what that means but I do know that I NEED to do a long run this weekend and whether it’s outside in the glorious rain and wind or inside on a mindless treadmill it just needs to get done.  I also know that this is really a very big make or break run for Chicago.  How do I know how to come back slow enough to not re-aggravate my injury but fast enough to get the miles that I so badly need.  I did 8 this week without too much issue but would it be too much to try for 14?  What if I ice bath after?  Third question – how much training does one need to just Make It Through a marathon?  Like say I just wanted to get my ass from the start to the finish in one piece with walking, speed walking, and running all in one.  I am rational, and I do think that I’m rationally nervous about this situation.  I had a goal, it was 4:10 or as close to 4:10 as possible, today my goal is to finish on my own two feet because I feel too dedicated to this situation to pull out unless absolutely necessary.

Oh by the way, tomorrow (Friday) I have physical therapy at 7am for this injury.  7am!  Do you know what time that means I have to get up?  5:30am.  I’m so not a morning person and I pity this physical therapist…

About Laura

Working mom trying to balance life and baby.
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