Me : “Harrison, do you want to be a doctor like Doc McStuffins?” – after watching the same episode many times in a row.
Harrison : “No, I want to be a Ninja… or a Ninja Turtle.”

We’re aiming high over here.

Harrison : “What is Dave (neighbor) doing? He’s staring at dirt.”
Me: “HA, I don’t know what Dave is doing.  Looking at his grass to see if it’s growing, maybe?”
Harrison : “Ohhhh.  Who wants to stare at dirt?… Just Dave!”

OMG it was so funny, like it was real humor.

Me: “Harrison, can you put away the toys in the playroom?”
Harrison: “I’m just tired of putting things away today.”
Me: “Harrison, please put your toys away.”
Harrison: “No, I’m just too tired.”

Then you’d think that I’d push him to actually do it, but I let it go because I was also too tired.  So tired.



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3 1/2 U-G-H

3 1/2 – this is a very challenging age.  I am not the first nor the last mother to utter those words.

Frequently heard coming from Harrison:

“You’re interrupting me”
“I’m not talking to you, I’m talking to Daddy”
“I don’t want to play with you anymore”
“You can’t touch that”
“I’m not going to be your friend anymore”
“You smell bad”
“I’m going to kick the house down”
“I don’t like that”
“I told you 5 times already”
“That is kind of Rude”

And a ton of whining – “I want to watch TVVVVVVVV”, “I want to watch Paw Patrol Saves Christmas”, “Where’s my light saber”, “I want Blanket”, “I didn’t say goodbye to daddy”, “Bennett touched me”, “but I was using that”, “but I WANT TO”, etc etc.  in the most annoying whiny voice possible is really how you need to imagine those phrases.  Sometimes they are followed by complete and total mental and physical breakdowns, which are seemingly for no reason or something that’s so minuscule that I’m not sure why he’s freaking out.

I’m having a really hard time dealing with this particular phase he’s going through.

My husband was like: I don’t know why he drives you so crazy.

But here’s the thing.  Harrison is either talking to me or whining to me or bossing me around or asking me questions for 2-3 hours by the time Abe gets home, and by that point I’m completely spent with my patience.  I mean I’m like cooking for, feeding, cleaning up, bathing, changing, and playing referee for two kids continuously during that time too so it’s not Just Harrison but really he does drive me nuts.  Every single day, I have to remind him that he can’t eat out of his bowl like a puppy dog.  Most days I have to remind him that we don’t eat soup with a straw.  Most evenings I just have to say “Harrison, Mommy is NOT getting up one more time from dinner!”  Like every 5 seconds he asks me for something, why is that?  He obviously does not want me to sit down for 5 minutes to eat dinner.

There has to be something about this age.  It’s relentless.  It makes me want to wear noise cancelling headphones for days at a time.  Why don’t I have the ability to handle this well?  Why can’t he dress himself yet?  Where do plants come from?  How did that car get there?  Where do you get a Christmas Tree – Ok, maybe those last 3 questions are Harrison’s echoing from my brain.

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Tonsils, Terrorizing Others in Public, and Germs so Many Germs

Harrison got his tonsil and adenoids out last week.  Due to his sleep apnea, they wanted to keep him overnight as well.  We woke up the morning of the surgery before 5am and then we left the house at 5:30am and you’d think that he would sleep in the car but no.  He sat there pointing at everything and just talking.  “I don’t like the sun over there.” – that was a commonly used phrase for some reason.  I took him in for the surgery, and truly this kid did So Well, he really took the entire thing like a trooper.  Totally didn’t think of this, but if you’re child is potty trained but is still young it’s a good idea to use a diaper/pull up.  I did due to laziness but it was a godsend.  I thought he’d be like sleeping and tired the entire day while recovering but he was up the whole time playing with his ipad and legos and peeing every 2 minutes.  Because of his food allergies, he really couldn’t eat anything there and didn’t want to eat any of the soft foods that I brought him so later I ordered him white rice from a Thai restaurant.  I couldn’t believe he was like sitting there shoving rice into his mouth after having portions of his body removed.  Then the two of us got to spend the evening together – the two of us in a hospital bed.  He did a lot of talking in his sleep, but hardly any snoring…

We went home in the morning and they told us to keep him out of school for a week while he recovers.  The first few days home were So Good, he was almost completely normal.  Things started to take a turn for the worse around day 5 when he began to get a lot of referred ear pain along with some very uncharacteristic mental breakdowns.  Like the kind where he sobs and screams so much that he starts hyperventilating at a rate that won’t allow him to speak, and it just continues and continues until he falls asleep or something.  I still have to stay on top of his Tylenol, if I don’t he’ll freak out over the ear pain and you can see it coming, he’ll suddenly look deathly tired and he’ll start to kind of touch his ears a bit and then the meltdown is only moments away – just hope you’re not out in public.

His sleep has been no different yet, but they said it could take a week or two.  His voice sounds slightly different.  To me it’s a bit higher and more clear.

So I’ve been home with him for the past 3 days on my own.  Monday, we took Bennett to daycare – that was key.  Tuesday, I had to bring Bennett in to the doctor late morning because he has a mysterious rash on his junk.  The entire morning those two boys did their best to drive me insane.  Harrison would cry and then stop, and then Bennett would cry and then stop, and then they’d fight over a toy and both cry, and then Bennett would come running over to me and tug on me until I picked him up, and Harrison would yell for more juice, and demand to watch something stupid on tv, and Bennett would empty a bin of toys all over the kitchen floor, and then throw a snack and step all over it, and then the boys would be fighting again… which led me to washing my face and hair in the kitchen sink while all that was going on because I looked Bat Shit Crazy.  I’m growing out my bangs so they’re in this weird middle length and I still have a ton of baby hairs that are still growing so the entire front of my head just has hair that sticks straight up – anyhow I look nuts.  We finally made it to Bennett’s appointment, Harrison insisted on coming with us.  The second the doctor walked in Bennett started wildly screaming.  Anyhow, we got ointments eventually.  I thought to myself – surely, it can’t get worse than that.  Then Wednesday arrived.  I had to take both kids to two different doctors back to back in the morning.  It totally got so much worse!!  8am the three of us set out, 8:45 Harrison had to go to followup with his ENT after some bleeding (he’s totally fine).  The kids banged on the massive fish tank and opened and shut the fish tank stand doors 50000 times in a row, and then in the exam room they ran in circles and touched everything there was to touch while both tried to climb up my legs.  Then we got back into the car, drove less than a mile and got to the 10am allergist appointment for Bennett.  The kids fought in the waiting room over toys at least 10 different times.  Harrison finally had it and just sat down on the floor with his arms crossed and yelled “BENNETT I WAS PLAYING WITH THAT!!!” and they took us into the exam room… where they continued to be even more insane.  While the doctor was talking to me the kids were moving chairs back and forth against a hard floor so basically it was like SWEEEAAK SWEEEEEAK SWEEEEAK for like 20 minutes straight.  Harrison wouldn’t stop talking, Bennett kept hitting me in the head or biting me – all while laughing maniacally.  He bit me like 6 times!  WTF.  Anyhow, both appointments were totally worth the effort but Sweet Jesus, I’m never doing that again.  We dropped Bennett off at school after that – I might have thrown him out of the moving vehicle with his lunch taped to his body as I sped away.  Later, Harrison had an epic meltdown over something trivial and he punched and hit his bed for like 10 minutes and then I had to physically bear hug him to get him to calm down and sleep while he cried, hyperventilated and tried to tell me something but couldn’t get it out (I imagine it was: LIFE ISN’T FAIR!)

Anyhow… I basically have no idea what is happening in the world outside of my house and Whole Foods.

IMG_0964 These kids like to keep me on my toes.

Today, Bennett got sent home from school with hand foot and mouth – the saga continues!

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One of My Fears

Back when I had Harrison 3 1/2 years ago, I decided that I would go back to work after my maternity leave ended.  I hadn’t really established solid career experience yet and I felt that it was important that I gain more so that if I ever did decide to stay home that I’d have a decent resume later.  It was something that I really struggled with the first year of Harrison’s life because there were just So Many challenges with that kid and everything was so stressful and we had a stupid dog that was just too much bat-shit-crazy.  I can’t even verbalize how hard that first year with him was, but we all made it through and it got easier.  Then Bennett came along and I thought about career vs. being at home again, and again decided that I should return to work but for other reasons.  This time it was because I wanted to keep my kids in their school – Harrison thrives at the school we have him in and he has really wonderful friends, and because of Harrison’s great experience I wanted Bennett to have that too.  I just couldn’t imagine myself being at home and trying to teach my kids stuff like colors and the alphabet and songs and stuff all day long while also trying to keep the house from falling down and my sanity.  Not to mention the financials of it – I still have college loans that I’m paying off.

As far as my career goes, I’m fully established at this point and in that respect I know that I made the right decision.  Both of the kids really enjoy going to school 4 days a week and they enjoy seeing Nana and Papa 1 day a week.  Nobody cries at drop-off and everyone is happy to come home at pick-up.  For the kids, it’s really a good balance.  It’s expensive as hell but that’s really just how it is for us – it’s a good school that couldn’t get any more convenient in location.

The other day, someone came over my house and this woman likes to talk.  A Lot.  We have an arrangement so she comes and cleans our house once a month.  Anyhow, in the first 5 minutes of her arrival she was living my biggest fears.  She stayed home after having twins 16 years ago, never worked at all, and now Needs to get a job for various reasons and she has no resume, no skills, no experience in any kind of work place and is in her late 40s.  There are so  many things working against her.  She’s going to lose her house, she’s in the middle of an ugly divorce, and really she lives in a weird alternate reality where she thinks she can just get like My Job.  Literally.  Her father knows someone who works high up at a competitor of ours and she’s just kind of talking to them about becoming my job description.  So I sat there and gave her a background of what she would need to do etc., and by the end of the conversation it was completely evident to me that this woman was in serious trouble and the worse part is that she really had no idea.  I suggested that she take some classes in Microsoft Office so she can at least get up to speed and be able to reference that in an interview or a resume, and she kind of shot that down – but she’s never used Excel before… I don’t even know, like I’m not sure what kind of skills she plans on presenting to have.  But really, that’s my fear that I’d be out of the work place for so long that I’d be too out of touch and out of skill to get back in.  I mean what if something happened and I didn’t have a resume or any skills or experience and I had to support my family somehow?  That’s scary.  Clearly, I could get an entry level job and try to work my way up but can that support a family?  I don’t think so.  OMG my anxiety throbs for this woman.

So anyhow, now I work full time and the kids are in the care of others from 8am-5pm during the work week.  I don’t really have that “mom guilt” that others seem to experience but like I said, we love their school, they love their teachers and their friends, so really everyone is happy at the end of the day.  I get to bring home a paycheck and I’m somehow still able to juggle laundry, grocery shopping, dry cleaning pickups, and the multiple doctor’s appointments that kids seem to need.  It’s a crazy life, but right now it’s the right one for me.  I’m probably lucky that I don’t have those pulsating regrets of not being there for my kids.  I mean, I’m there.  I’m there in the middle of the night when they need me, I do breakfast and dinner and bath time, and story time, and building houses, and finding monsters, and playing storm troopers, and applying eczema medicine, and changing peed on sheets, and keeping the house full of snacks and yogurt, so really I’m like THERE.  What’s not really there is my own life – I don’t see friends that often or get out of the house all that much or go on vacations, but I think I don’t care that much about that stuff either.

Truly, I know that everyone does what is best for them and their families.  I’m just glad that I made the choices that I did.

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I Have A Question

Harrison talks A LOT.  He’s also really bossy and really demanding.  After I pick him up for school he just stands around and makes demands: Mommy I want to watch tv, mommy I want juice, mommy I want a snack, mommy I want to watch storm troopers, etc. omg.  it’s not even an exaggeration, and I’m pretty sure he just likes to hear his own voice.

At bedtime, I sit in a chair near his bed and he goes to sleep.  There are reasons for this madness but let’s not even go there.  So tonight it’s 8:30pm and I’ve already let him play for a few minutes in his bed and shoot a storm trooper and whatever, and then the bunny light got turned off and it was time for SLEEP.  But no, that’s just when the questions begin.  He starts a never ending series of questions…

Harrison: Mommy, I have a question.  Where are we going tomorrow?

Me: Harrison, you’ve asked me that like a hundred times today… where do you think we’re going tomorrow?

Harrison: Oh, Preschool! Ok, I have another question.  Remember we went to a restaurant and you and me and daddy and Bennett were there and we went to the restaurant?

Me: Yes, now what is the question?

Harrison: What day is it?

Me: It’s Thursday, now go lay down and go to sleep!

Harrison: I have one more question.

Me: …What Is It?!

Harrison: The question is………….. um, what time is it?

Me: HARRISON IT IS 8:45 GO. TO. SLEEP!  (he doesn’t even know how to tell time or what 8:45 even means)

It did not end there, he kept on coming back.  It’s just so so painful.  It’s like someone is very slowly scratching my brain with a plastic spork.

Harrison’s new favorite show is Terrific Trucks on the Sprout channel.  It’s not bad actually – yet.  At the end of each show the trucks get washed down, so Harrison runs and gets a play mop and then tries to vigorously mop the TV so he can mop the trucks too.  Um 1. the TV is like going to fall on him and 2. he’s going to scratch or damage the TV or something and then we’ll all be sorry.  He’s so crazy.  He has Bennett mopping the couches too.  There is a lot of weird stuff going on around here…

Bennett is eating like 2-3 bananas a day.  He really loves bananas right now, and luckily he’s not constipated or anything.  He’s suddenly really really loud and very stubborn.  He used to be this really chill laid back dude and he’s really not that anymore.  He’s very vocal about everything and he gets Seriously Mad when he doesn’t get his way.  I wouldn’t let him bring his blanket into the tub last night – obviously right?, and he cried and screamed for the entire tub until I got him out and dried him off and placed the blanket back in his hands.  Tonight he yelled throughout dinner, he just sat there and ate and yelled just for fun.  I often find the boys fighting and really that means they’re both crying and screaming at each other and fighting over one specific toy – usually either the shopping cart or the mini Dyson vacuum.  I’m not about to go out an get 2 of those things either, but it often sounds like a pack of stray cats are fighting in the house for a few seconds each morning.  I’m usually making their lunches or breakfast and all I can do is run over there give the toy to Harrison and put something else random into Bennett’s hands and that seems to calm them down for a few.  I know that won’t work for much longer.

I’m aging people.  My body is falling apart.  These beautiful children of mine are running me ragged.  There should be some kind of brain study – a brain scan before kids and then 5 years after kids in order to compare the deterioration and function.  I have no idea what that would accomplish because my brain is already deeply affected.

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5 days of the 21 day fix

I’ve lost my mind. I started a diet and exercise plan.  Somewhere along the way I realized that my diet consisted of Nature Valley Biscuits with Almond Butter (essentially a dessert for breakfast), coffee with milk and sugar again (I had gone black a while ago for a long time), sporadic snacks throughout the day like cookies or goldfish, a bit of random dinner from my kids plates, and then ice cream for dessert with a cookie on top.  This is real and not an exaggeration sadly…

Day 1 of the 21 Day Fix

It is a pretty easy program to follow.  The first 30 minute workout was total body cardio and I almost passed out several times because I’m so out of shape.  The nutrition was good, I enjoyed eating more fresh foods and healthy things and noticed how much shitty food I normally consume.  I was hungry late morning and late afternoon and before bed.  I think that day 1 is always like a huge slap in the face though and probably more of a mental thing than anything else.  I would have killed for oreo cookie ice cream – obviously that is not part of the diet plan!  It’s a major shift in eating for me, but that’s really the whole point.  I think I’m a very emotional eater and I really do take a lot of joy in eating…

Also on Day 1, I had Harrison home with me in the morning before an Allergist appointment.  He was extremely well behaved all morning long, it was like a magical land of a super cute and super good child out in public at playing at home.  He was like my little boy sent from heaven.  Much Much later as I was telling Daddy about all the awesomeness that was his oldest son, the little angel had a marvelous breakdown that included hitting and punching and kicking a couch cushion.  I intervened with a “Harrison, we don’t act like that.” That truly set him off.

Harrison: “Momma, I don’t like that!  I don’t want to be your friend anymore, I will be Daddy’s friend and Bennett’s friend but not your friend.  I don’t like that.  I tell you this everyday.  I told you two times!  I won’t be your friend anymore.”  This basically went on and on for over 15 minutes where he’d walk over to me and keep talking and then walk away and then come back and then sit on the couch, all while telling me about his personal feelings about how he didn’t like that and didn’t want to be my friend.  I didn’t have the energy to enter that battle, so I mostly just ignored the never ending harassment.  Dude can really hold a grudge!

Day 2 of the 21 Day Fix

My butt and legs were so sore that I spent the whole day walking funny.  Each time I had to bend down, I’d groan and get a little stuck.  Today’s workout was upper body fix, so thankfully the focus was a totally different muscle group.  I also found a shake option that was pretty equal to Shakeology in nutrition but a fraction of the cost so today I had an afternoon shake and It Was Bliss.  OMG, the chocolate flavor was so good and it really curbed my hunger.  I am kind of looking forward to having another one of those tomorrow.  On the other hand – my brain is like super foggy today.  Like it’s functioning at 1/3 the normal efficiency which is a problem.  My portions were good today, I stayed within the parameters – except after dinner I had a cider and I skipped my last fruit portion… so like that’s kind of the same right?!  Whatever, it was comfortably close enough!

Day 3 of the 21 Day Fix

Ok this day was not so great.  I was able to squeeze in plans very last minute for lunch, which I never get to do, so I totally jumped at it.  I did Pretty well the rest of the day, didn’t work out though.

Day 4 of the 21 Day Fix

Started the day with the 10 minute abs and it was super burny.  I have pretty much no core muscles at all anymore after two kids so this was like absolute torture – extra torturey because I remember back when I HAD a true six pack and could easily do all this shit.  It was only 10 minutes but I was like – Ok that’s plenty of pain for today, let’s not over extend.  I spent the rest of the day running around like a total maniac for work and mostly stayed within the nutrition plan with a shake and some nuts and seeds while on the road.  I wasn’t good about spreading stuff out and I was hungry and tired and annoyed, but luckily I had Something with me instead of my usual Nature Valley bars or other crappy processed easy foods.  Also, confession: sometimes when I’m in the car I eat mints as a snack or meal… that’s so ridiculous.

Day 5 of the 21 Day Fix

Today was 30 minutes of cardio.  I was pleased that it was Not as hard as the Total Body Cardio from Monday, but it was still no walk in the park.  Later I had a handful of veggie booty because I totally forgot myself, but it’s cool not the biggest mistake ever.  I’m not feeling great today, kind of tired and sluggish and foggy.  Then again, there was a 3 year old in my bed last night and I only had 1 coffee – that is probably where I fell down, I needed at least 2 more coffees.  I also bought my big boy the coolest new sneakers ever.  He is refusing to take them off, like he’s wearing pajamas and sneakers around the house right at this moment.  Sidenote: Dick’s Sporting Goods has a “preschool sneakers” section!!  I had no idea.  I don’t get out much though.  And the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale began today, get it while the getting is good people!!

After 5 days, my thoughts about this program is that it’s easy to follow, the workouts are really good and besides the fact that it restructures your life it’s very good.  I would recommend it, it’s reasonable.

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He Must Have Had A Stroke

Me – “Harrison, when you came into my room last night… how come you wouldn’t let mommy take you back into your room?”

Harrison – “Because I like Daddy better.”


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All The Food

I’ve been truly disturbed over the amount of food that my 1 year old is suddenly consuming.  About two weeks ago he transitioned full time to sippy/straw cups and cow’s milk.  But just in the past few days he’s been eating nonstop, literally for an entire day he’s eating something when he’s at home.  I’ve also had to go into his room at bedtime to retrieve him because he was screaming bloody murder and apparently was hungry.  His second dinners are actually Bigger than his first dinners.  I’m completely and totally freaked out over this situation.  Harrison was never really like this… I mean he had moments where he ate more or less, but Bennett is eating more food than I am.  He needs a dump truck full of food daily.  He’s eating crumbs off the ground and stealing Harrison’s snacks and running over to the counter pointing at food while yelling and stomping his feet.  WTF?!


Second Breakfast this morning, 15 minutes after First Breakfast

And it’s like – how big is a child’s stomach?  The size of his fist right?  Well what if he has GIANT hands, does that mean his stomach is also giant or does that mean his hands are clearly bigger than they should be so his stomach is actually not that huge?  I don’t know.  He’s also still a bit particular over what he eats, so I can’t just like hand him chicken or a waffle – oh no.  He wants very specific crackers and hashbrowns and Greek yogurt.  It’s exhausting.  I’m going to the grocery store like every other day at this point between the two of the kids needing specific foods.  I never in a million years thought I would be this person who let’s kids dictate the food that goes into a dinner, but I am, I am totally that person because if they get hungry – they will in fact Not just eat the food they don’t want to eat, they will freak out and be in a Moooooood.  A day ruining mood.

So anyhow, I’ve found that I spend a serious chunk of my day either planning meals, buying food, feeding children, preparing meals, talking about food, reading ingredients, or cleaning up food… it’s completely and totally exhausting.  Abe was like, “you know with two boys they’re going to be eating us out of house and home… HOUSE AND HOME!!” so it’s begun, just much sooner than ever anticipated with Bennett.

We should probably start working on that garden now, and farm, and constructing a 24-hour restaurant.

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Life is So Loud Now

Our world has been crazy lately.  Here’s a small glimpse into our insanity:

Harrison (age 3 1/2): “Momma, can I have a TV in my bedroom?”
…sigh.  Me: “Harrison, when you get older and you get a job, you can buy a TV and put it in your room and pay for the cable that goes in there.”
Harrison: [major bummed out noise] “Fine…”

Harrison: [scratching forehead] “Mommmmm, my brain is itchy.”
Me: “Your brain is on the inside, and your forehead is on the outside.”
Harrison: “Ohh Ohhh Ok”

Just received a voicemail from the pediatrician that Bennett had a positive test for Egg allergy.  Two kids with food allergies.  What are the chances?… apparently it somewhere around 13%.

Just realized yesterday that Harrison can actually eat Most things at Chipotle of all places!  We’re going this weekend, I’m willing to risk all of us getting some kind of gastrointestinal experience in order for him to be able to eat something that I didn’t cook for him in a public place.  This is going to be So Exciting!!

Harrison tried to understand Death and what it means after his Grandmother recently passed.  I think he understands death, but he does Not understand coffins and why people are put into the ground and graveyards.  Those concepts are things that are exceptionally hard to explain to a child, especially a child without a religious household.

2-4 times per day, I find myself breaking up a fight between the two kids.  Usually they are both holding the opposite end of a toy and pulling it and refusing to let go while wildly screaming and crying all together.  Bennett is ridiculously strong.

Bennett has altered his bed time.  On his own, he insists on going to bed closer to 6:45.  Normally he was going to bed around 7:30pm which I thought was ideal.  What this means is he is now waking around 5am.  It’s pure torture!  Sometimes he’s willing to roll around and play with his little stuffed friends in his crib, but other times he stands up and very loudly bangs his hand against the bed until I come and get him.

The Mosquito Squad is coming in a few days.  Our yard is surrounded by trees and forest and a little wetlands, etc.  Hopefully we are able to control the bug situation and the kids can enjoy the yard more (and daddy who seems to be a mosquito magnet).

We’re working on phasing out the nap for Harrison.  That means he takes a little backpack to school (busy bag) and he’s encouraged to play quietly while some of his friends rest.  Really what this means is he gets a cool bag of cool stuff and he opens it for five minutes before falling asleep with everyone else.

Bennett is moving out of the Infant room and into the Young Toddler room in a couple weeks.  That means that he is also phasing out one of his naps, will go for 1 long afternoon nap instead of 2 shorter spread out naps, and he neeeeeeds to move from the bottle to the sippy cup but that’s not going well at the moment, and he will get to sit in young toddler chairs at a table instead of being put into like a table seat hole thing.  The only thing that seems to actually be going well with all his transitions is that he’s drinking bottles that are 50% formula / 50% whole milk, so that’s something I guess.

Abe and I had our 7 year anniversary the other day, which means that we’ve been together for 10 years.  That seems crazy.  We used to be young and cool and we’d do cool fun stuff, and now we’re old and gross and our kids get to do cool fun stuff!  We need a vacation.

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New Things

I’m trying all sorts of new things this week.

Yesterday I googled “how to use a drill”.  I’m not even kidding you.  Then I googled “how to put plastic anchors into wall”.  Again, not even kidding, but it may surprise you how many hits these basic Youtube videos had.  After learning this new skill, I successfully hung a small medicine cabinet on the wall which actually was a pretty major victory in my house – something actually hung on the wall and completed within an acceptable time frame. Now we have a small medicine cabinet in the bathroom downstairs allowing for a little more storage.  This photo pretty much scared the shit out of my husband.

IMG_1891 (1)

Last week, I planted some blueberry bushes with Harrison… or really I planted some small blueberry bushes and he swung a little shovel around and got in my way.  We want to have some bushes for the boys to pick fruit off of later on.  Then this week I went to the local nursery and bought several shrubs and planted them around the yard.  I dug holes, laid down plant food, threw in some good soil, and watered them.  I was sweating bullets and I was frustrated at the amount of big annoying rocks in the ground, but another project got accomplished.  It figures that while I was out there a million cars drove by my normally very quiet street.  I’m sure I looked like a crazy person sweating and digging and covered in dirt.  Clearly I had no idea what I was doing.  Now when Harrison sees these lush green bushes, he’s like “Mama, the plants grew!!!!  I’m so proud of you!”, I am pretty sure he thinks that they are the blueberry bushes we had planted before…

After all this manual labor, I really had an urge to take a bath.  I can’t even remember the last time I took one…and it was probably like a sitz bath after having Harrison or something 3 years ago just with the goal to heal my aching junk.  I got out the strong tub cleaner, and scrubbed down both of the tubs and replaced the shower liner to something squeaky clean and was like “tonight after Harrison goes to bed, I am going to take a bath with lavender epsom salts, it’s happening, i’m going to fucking relax!”  and then…. it didn’t happen.  The drain was missing the plug so I had to order something, but you know it was really close to happening.  I hate the idea that so much effort needs to go into doing something relaxing.  When I was buying these bath salts at the store all I could think about was how people were like using bath salts like drugs somehow (I like don’t even know how) and they were going crazy and doing really insane shit like running down the street naked and trying to eat other people.

Anyhow, I now own a bunch of bath salts and have clean tubs.  I’m pretty far from being relaxed but my accomplishments this week make me feel pretty good.  You can learn so much on Youtube!

Bennett’s favorite breakfast right now: Fage plain Greek yogurt with a squirt of Mama Chia and tiny cut up strawberries.  I can’t believe this is something he’s happy to eat.  Harrison would only eat things like hash browns.  They are so night and day, it surprises me all of the time.  Parenthood or life after kids is basically 99% surprises though right?

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