No Diapers, No Problems

Hand Foot and Mouth + yeast diaper rash / wenis irritation = where normal parenting ends and desperation sets in.

At first, HFM seemed not so bad.  I thought H had a pretty mild case with a very low grade fever (99.0) and a handful of clear but raised little bumps.  This was Wednesday, and he was joyfully chasing me around with a foam pirate sword.  By Saturday, I wanted to fucking kill myself and the jerk who spread it into his school and the jerk that didn’t clean his classroom well enough and the jerk who didn’t tell the other jerks to clean better.  He had big broken sores all over his knees, ankles, feet, butt, hands, and probably something in his mouth but he never really let me look in there.  He was no longer joyfully doing anything – except for swimming in his old infant tub (naked) out on the deck.  I was able to distract him enough from his discomfort during the daytime hours and thankfully it wasn’t a million degrees out there.

photo(42) I’m not sure what was worse – the HFM or the yeast diaper rash because the HFM was affecting the diaper rash.  He basically ran around the house butt naked 90% of Friday, Saturday, and Sunday to try and combat the problem.  His problem seems to be mostly that moisture just gets trapped in there too long because he pees NonStop.  Like 8 x per hour would be normal for him.  So his wenis gets irritated too for some reason and that hurts him a lot I guess – there is a lot of screaming.  I followed him around with a towel so each time he peed or Most times he peed I would throw the towel under him to catch it.  Anyhow, it’s Monday and it’s still somewhat bothersome so I don’t know how to fix it – and I especially don’t know how to tell someone else to care for it (daycare providers) and I find that really stressful – the idea that my son has a problem but they won’t be able to treat it the way that he needs.  The answer seems to be: no diapers ever and that’s totally not a real option.

I also don’t know how to hold down a job anymore.  My child is sick more than the average kid.  I take more sick days to care for him than I am even allotted, which really is the more important thing to do.  Nobody has “spoken” to me about it yet, and due to the nature of my job I am not sure that anyone actually will but all of it still weighs on me.  It’s 100% impossible to do my job with a young kid.  – that’s a whole other post.  I’m really thinking about when to throw in the towel at this point, like I’m thinking about dates and I’m trying to imagine my life where a Blackberry isn’t necessary and I am not constantly juggling a crazy schedule.

I took him to the playground today very late in the afternoon because we just had to get out for a bit and I felt he was healed enough to be out in the general public in fresh air while wearing pants.  He went down little kid slides today by himself and tried to go down big kid slides without my help.  There were lots of other families and moms there.  There was a little boy there that picked up a handful of pebbles and just threw them up in the air like an asshole – and another little kid (like no older than 6 years old) yells out: “You really shouldn’t throw rocks, what if someone has to go to the hospital because you threw rocks?  You’re going to have to pay like… $1,000.”  I laughed so hard.  I wonder if his parents work in insurance – he’s so right on with that number.  Later, I was swinging H next to another mom and we were making small talk about the kids.  I said something about just having to get out of the house with him and his age or whatever and she’s like, “oh yes, Henry is 15 months so a little younger than your’s and then my other one is…. well frankly, he’s just so Annoying these days”.  I laughed so hard inside, I only smiled outside.  The kid seemed really well behaved and mild mannered, but H is also like that in public settings – yet another great reason to get out.

My biggest win of the day though – I found a $60 toy organizer for $20 through a town yard sale site.  It’s basically like a local Craigslist thing.  I found it online and then had it in my possession less than an hour later, and it is in perfect condition – you can tell it belonged to a girl.  It’s not super attractive but I hate to spend money on stupid stuff like that and it serves its purpose well – toys are off the floor and somewhat organized and we didn’t have to assemble the stupid thing.

photo(43)It’s only Monday… everyone try to make it through the rest of the week without a call to the pediatrician.

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The Longest Day

Yesterday was a Very long day.  I had put H down the night before with a very slight fever, and figured it was probably nothing.  I woke up around 5am and got ready anticipating H waking around 6am (Abe wasn’t here), but he slept and slept until after 7:30am.  It’s so out of character for him to do that, especially sleeping late two days in a row.  Finally, I was getting him ready for school and when I was changing his diaper – things didn’t look quite right and thought that maybe was the reason for the slight fever if things were getting infected or irritated or whatever, so I decided to keep him home and wait until 8:30am when the nurseline opened at his pediatrician’s office.

As I was waiting for 8:30 to roll around, I started to notice some bumps on his body. It was totally hand foot and mouth.  His classroom has a notice on the door about it like every few weeks about having another kid diagnosed with it.  I had thought we were pretty lucky so far for never getting it when H usually gets every little cold or runny nose going around.

I brought him into the doctor and I was there for the diaper rash issue, but I was happy to kill two birds with one stone.  The diaper rash is yeast – which totally explains why it’s been going on for such a mother effing long time.  Like probably 3 months, and I’d seriously been losing my mind over diaper brands/wipes/needing to try this or that or whatever – but it was just freaking yeast.  After the first application of the script, it looked much worse but he stopped itching it like a mad man, so it’s working.  She also confirmed the hand foot and mouth.

After the appointment it was just the two of us… I couldn’t take him to go do something fun since he is contagious, but he was obviously feeling totally fine.  Keeping him entertained in the house was beyond draining – and it was 92 degrees outside so we were just trapped.  Admittedly, things got pretty weird and at one point I just let him do whatever he wanted to because I was so so tired (also this is why the house is always a dump – I totally didn’t pick up after this).

H in laundry basket H with pirate swordSo it got me thinking – why was it so hard?  How do people do this with more than 1 of these crazy kids like every single day?  Is it because my child is insane – or is it because I’m tired and distracted all of the time or could I be planning activities better for him?  Maybe it’s just his age?  Should I just buy a parenting book and get over it already?

Anyhow, he went to bed and then was up at 3am – for the rest of the day.  Argh.

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So He Slept In

6:55am in my house Right Now: H is still sleeping and Mom is enjoying a coffee.

I’ve been up since 4am preparing everything for our day so I wouldn’t have to deal with a frustrated toddler while trying to put on makeup and pack lunches.  Like I took a shower, dried my hair (I never have time to dry my hair), put on makeup, made a hot lunch for H, drank a coffee, cleaned up the kitchen, got his morning milk ready… and he’s still sleeping (and he slept through the night!)


photo(16) photo(15)I totally have nothing important to say at this hour so here goes a flood of random stuff on the top of my brain:

  • My Google search of the week is “Patrick Swayze Wig” – super random, but we do own one of those.
  • Why is it that my 22 lb. toddler fits into a size 5 diaper when he’s in the size 4 weight category?  Like by a lot.  He’s only in the 30th percentile, but is it because his belly is massive or because he goes to the bathroom more than any human ever created?  I tried a size 4 on him again yesterday in another brand just to see if it was a brand thing or like a real thing, but it’s real.  It was obviously too tight on him.
  • I love love the Ole Henrickson Power Peel from Sephora (sorry can’t get the link to insert).  I bought a $16 two pack of it, and it’s very good.  From the chemical peels that I’ve received at my dermatologist office (a couple years ago), I can say that this is probably the closest at-home peel that I’ve used so it’s well worth the money.  I leave on the real treatment part a little longer than it says to.
  • I’m currently looking for a nice looking wooden play kitchen for H.  I’m trying to either buy used or on sale.  I just hate to spend real money on this sort of thing but I also don’t want it to be the biggest eyesore ever.

    It’s 7:04am… It’s past time to wake the beast / the sleeping angel – depending on his mood today!

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Suck City

This was a very strange weekend.

Saturday, we took H to the beach even knowing that it wasn’t going to be the most beautiful day of the weekend.  We pull up and the gate says “green heads in season, no refunds”.  It didn’t matter since we have a season pass, but I was like: wow, warning noted.  I think because it wasn’t too hot or too humid the bugs weren’t out, but the seagulls sure were.

A really aggressive seagull swooped down into our beach stuff, and stole an unopened bag of Popcorners and then flew away with our neighbors chasing it.  We saw it from a distance.  It was pretty hilarious to see a bird flying away with H’s fun gluten free snack for the day in it’s shiny bag.  I was thinking that stupid bird wouldn’t be able to open the bag anyhow – but then like an hour later we saw a gull eat a crab whole, so I guess it would have found a way.  We left with bird turd on our Sportbrella too – gah!

We had a solid 5 awesome nights of H sleeping this week, like he slept until around 6:30 each morning.  Saturday night that exploded all over our faces.  He’s getting 3 molars at once.  The top ones seem really slow, but there is a bottom one that came in super fast and really looks pretty awful.  Anyhow, we’re assuming that’s the reason he woke up at 9:45 then 11:30 then 1:30 and stayed up until close to 4.  He was screaming and sobbing, and in obvious discomfort but it was so hard to get him back to sleep.  I can’t physically rock him back to sleep and then drop back into his crib asleep anymore now that he’s heavier and longer.  It’s a serious balancing act, and totally impossible.  Abe has better luck than I do.  So thankfully, he eventually did get him back down after more drugs and milk and soothing.

The little man was back up like an hour later, so I took him downstairs and gave him milk and hoped he’d fall back asleep to Daniel Tiger – he did.  My jam is getting him back to sleep and then bringing him into the guest bed where I can gently lay him next to me and he will sleep soundly without waking.  I was about to fall back to sleep myself and the freaking doorbell rang at 6am… and I ignored it.  I thought that maybe we had some kind of appointment that we forgot about like cable service or something, and then the person would Not Stop Knocking.  Like, at this point I was fearing that H would wake up and I was about to open the window and scream out to the person to go away!  I peeled myself out from under the sleeping child and saw that it was a police car – so I booked it downstairs (braless and with birds nest hair) and opened the door.  It turns out that during the night someone (or teens is my guess) switched everyone’s mailboxes on the street – our’s was gone and across the street at a different house.  So the police officer is telling me about all this and I’m like: my kid is sleeping upstairs, please don’t wake him up (whispering desperately)… but he only had 1 volume of voice I guess.  Then Abe scurries down the stairs being like WHO IS THAT?! And the whole conversation happened again.  Somehow H slept through that, but OMG, I would have killed someone if he woke up.  We got our mailbox back btw.  Idiot kids.

Later, H somehow got really bad chaffing from his diaper.  I’m not sure which one because he wore 3 different kinds today (Huggies overnight, Seventh Generation, and Honest), but it was like a demon took over his body.  Total Toddler Meltdown x 10.  We gave him painkillers thinking it was maybe the teething, and tried every single thing under the sun for the chaffing – like every lube and ointment known to man including no diaper.  He was just screaming in agony.  I’m not sure what worked, but it was probably the Benedryl and thick layer of Aquaphor.  It knocked him out for 2 hours for a refreshing nap.  He woke up much happier and the chaffing looked much better after some time to heal without him touching it.

It actually gets worse – a few hours later he pooped on the rug.  Then he peed through his lobster high chair.  He like way overfilled a diaper (in a super short period of time), and I was on the ground cleaning up his dropped noodles when a stream of liquid came sprinkling down.  It was pee.  I knew right away.  I think he’s made up of 90% pee.  Later, I let him run around without a diaper again (on the deck outside) and he peed 8 times in less than an hour.  That’s not normal right?

That was not a very nice weekend.

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The Poop

H pooped on the floor today. I was like: hm that’s new. Right before his bath, I took off his diaper next to the tub like I always do and I’m like rolling it up and suddenly I heard something hit the ground. But I’m like: good, better to get it out before the tub. I got over it.

He gets in the tub and I have him all scrubbed down, but I haven’t plugged the drain yet. Suddenly, we have a real code Brown and it’s the first one in a very long time. Like, I had to quickly grab it and it was human sized and my hand touched it (nightmares forever). Omg, then he tried to touch it. So I flush the poop and pick him up and put him on the ground. He’s just standing there soaking wet, like wtf? And he wants to get back in of course! So then I scrub down the tub with soap, rinse everything, drain, soap, rinse again, rinse him, soap him, rinse him and throw him back in there. I somehow solved it without screaming or tears from either of us – inside I was feeling a bit differently about it all.

Everything will be bleached tonight, including my soul.

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Big Boy Ice Cream Parties



Today I got to do something amazing.  I left work really early so that I could attend H’s class Ice Cream Party!H and Mom Ice Cream Party 7 16 14

H Ice Cream Party 7 16 14He tried vanilla coconut flavored “ice cream” for the first time, and ate the whole scoop.  Then he dug into the scoop of chocolate, but there was less success there – or he ran out of room.

It’s so funny seeing him in the school environment.  He’s just so different – more mild mannered, less crazy, and he really just likes to go with the flow and do what the other kids are doing.  They all took turns getting their hands washed, and then walked over to tiny chairs and sat down and then waited for their ice cream.  It was way less chaotic than one would imagine 7 toddlers acting during an ice cream party.

Besides our trip to the ER last week for a brief super high fever, things have been pretty good for little H.  He has a second molar coming in, and strangely his sleep hasn’t been disturbed over it yet.  It may explain how clingy he’s been to me lately, but that’s also age appropriate.  He also has a new strong attachment to his blankie – good thing I have 3.  There is something kind of uncomfortable going on with his junk, but the interwebs don’t need to hear about that.  It’s been an ongoing battle, but I think it’s just one of those things that he has to get through and I just wish that I had gotten the heads up that it could happen to a circumcised boy (ugh TMI, sorry H).

We visited the nutritionist on Friday, who we see every 4 or so months (not covered by insurance – gah!) due to his food allergies.  I thought it would be helpful with meal planning for him since it’s hard enough to get a kid to eat, and then to be limited with variety is an even bigger challenge for a mom working full time.  It turns out that the quinoa/rice milk blend that I’ve been serving him for a while now is actually pretty nutritious.  My fear was that he was drinking this empty beverage while other kids get the benefit of cow’s milk, but there really isn’t anything to worry about there.  I need to limit the juice, and offer more milk and water when he’s home too.  She gave me a few tips on how to prepare vegetables in a different way to see if they are more appealing to him, and the first tip worked – steamed carrots that are then sautéed in olive oil and sprinkled with Mrs. Dash.  OMG.  He ate those stupid carrots! (I did too)

At the moment, there is nothing more fun to him than trying to be a big boy.  After I undo all of his straps on his car seat, he flips himself over and stands up… and then jumps into my arms like a flying squirrel all proud of himself.  He loves to walk up and down the stairs with help and not be carried.  Errands with him are an absolute nightmare because he refuses to stay in the cart, he wants to get out and run around or push it.  Last week during a quick trip to the grocery store, I finally let him out and he started running around grabbing bags of pepperoni (random, I know) and chips and throwing them all around while running away from me.  I’m thankful he wasn’t screaming while doing it.  He’s still biting quite a bit, but it’s been a few weeks since he was sent home with a school incident report so that’s something.

Work-Life balance is a continuous struggle.  My busy season is generally September-November so I’m not even there yet, and that really concerns me.  We had someone come in and do a deep clean of our house because it’s been ages since all of the dust was eradicated.  It was really awesome to know that things are finally clean, but spending the money on something stupid like that really annoys me.  I would have loved to spend that money on just about anything else.  Also our cleaner talks a lot, like A Lot, and she was not picking up on any of my signals that she really needed to stop and leave.

Can you imagine getting someone to push you around in your favorite ride for as long as you wanted (because you absolutely refuse to get out), and then just falling asleep in it?  After 1.5 hours of pushing him up and down the driveway in 85 degree weather (I was sweating and sunburning) he just decided he was so cozy and content that it was a good place to nap… oh the life.

nap in the cozy coupe

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Vacation – or was it?

It’s been so long since I’ve posted that I apparently don’t know how to use the new WordPress.  There was a lot of text with the photo below but it didn’t publish and that annoys me to no end!

We went to the Cape for vacation with H – it was horrible, he was horrible, and the end result is: NEVER AGAIN.  We came home a few days early.

We rented a house with another family, who also had a child (7 months).  The house was a total toddler danger zone.  99% of the time H was running around doing something or being around something unsafe.  I mean the entire back yard was a rock patio with ledges.  The first hour we were there he fell right off a ledge face first into a pile of mulch – luckily it was a soft landing.  The house also came with a chicken coop, and H wanted nothing more than to stick his fingers through the fencing (gross).  It was hot there too (with no AC), and H ended up with a terrible diaper rash from all his sweating.  It really put him in a mood.

We were so physically exhausted from chasing him around, plus super early wakeups, that we just couldn’t take it anymore.  I got up at 5am and walked him around town (I got way too much unwelcome exercise) and took him to the playground until 7am each morning so the rest of the house could sleep – I had frequent visits to the coffee shop.  That coffee was really awesome though, Thank God for it.  We would be dead without it.  Some days we went 2-3 times!

He’s been easier since we’ve been home but still an overall handful.  He has a molar coming in, and the level of his frustration and crabbiness is at an all time high.  Also, Thank God for babysitters and local grandparents and kiddie sprinklers.

Mom and dad may have suffered through days of Hell, but I think H had a pretty good time.  He really enjoyed the beach time and the pool time.  We took him swimming quite a bit, and by the end he was jumping off the side and thinking he could swim on his own.  He got really independent at the playground, which was a little bit more than I thought he could handle.  He was very comfortable at the beach and in the ocean – too comfy really.  He kept trying to go deeper than he should.  I think he would rate the vacation a 7 out of 10.  We would rate it a 1 out of 10!  And we thought last year was tough when we rented a house on the Cape when he was 7 months old (by ourselves), I think this was worse.

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Happy 4th!

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Dog – Rescued!

I’m happy to report that our dog found a rescue to go to over the weekend and didn’t have to be put down.  Someone that worked at her daycare last year now lives near the cape and volunteers at a rescue there.  The manager of the daycare gave her a call just to see if they could take her in under the circumstances, and they had room for her.  It was a huge relief, still very sad for us, but I think that she will do just fine – she is a very lucky dog, this is the second time she’s been saved from being put down (the first time being in Tennessee).  It all happened very quickly, and it was totally unexpected.  She is living at the rescue, that’s like totally Nothing Fancy, but she is alive and healthy and will be up for adoption into an appropriate home after some training.  Knowing me, I’ll be checking in on her every once in a while – but I will assume that she’s doing well and being cared for (for my own sanity).


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Shit Storm

We’ve had a really difficult month over here, so I’ve been pretty absent from most things and places including my blog!  It seems like things are slowly getting back to normal, but it’s been a challenge to regulate our systems.

Our dog bit H in the face a few weeks ago, which led to multiple doctors appointments on his end (he will be OK).  She was evicted from the house immediately, and is staying at her doggie daycare – which I think she prefers, so she probably thinks she’s on a nice vacation.  We didn’t really understand the system and what it meant for a dog bite, but it means your dog will be quarantined for 10 days and at the end of that a vet needs to evaluate for rabies in case it’s a public health issue or whatever.  That is what is means in Massachusetts, it means other things in other places.  We didn’t find that information out right away, so we began to try to find her a new home through rescue groups mainly.  She was turned down by all of them due to their insurance not allowing for a dog that bit a child, and even the rescue that she came from wouldn’t take her back.  She was scheduled to be put down, but at the last minute we cancelled the appointment with another lead stemming from her daycare.  A couple days later that lead fell through. I went to see her and say my very teary goodbyes, and at the end of it, I realized that I’m just a person to her… I’m not Her person, and she always liked me more than anyone else in this house.  She totally wasn’t all that excited to see me, she didn’t really care that I was there.  She just isn’t that kind of dog, the kind that feels attached to their owners.  Anyhow, I was there when the owner of the daycare was there and she must have felt really badly that I was a mess, so I got an email saying that she was able to find Mia a foster home a few weeks out – the only catch being that 1 particular local rescue that the foster parent volunteers at would need to take her on, the second catch being that the foster parent is a college student so her parents need to meet Mia and give the Ok. I don’t really have high hopes at this point because I don’t see this group willing to take her based on the situation (we had reached out to them two months ago and got no response prior to the bite), and I’m not sure the parents will want to take Mia in!  I’ve gone through a whole series of emotions, more than I ever knew I had in me, and I’ve really accepted the fact that if we need to put Mia down this weekend that I will be able to get through it and even though it’s really sad and awful, we tried our very best and she never really liked us anyway but we gave her a good home and a good life.

I feel really traumatized from this event, more so than H.  He was looking for the dog the next day.  We even have a fox living in our yard that H points at or looks for saying DOG!  I think he’s still too young to be afraid or anything like that.  I feel like we failed our dog, we were bad dog owners because we weren’t able to give her the training and the constant exercise and attention that she needed, and we are the reason that this happened.  She’s not a bad dog, sure she has lots of baggage from wherever she came from but in the right home she would have been totally fine.  Or what we should have done was send her back to TN after a couple weeks when we realized that this dog was nothing like the one that we had the impression we’d be getting so she just wasn’t a good fit here.  They assured us that she loved kids, and that was never the case from day 1.  So that is really what haunts me now, but I can get past it at some point.

I think that rescuing animals is a wonderful thing, but honestly, I don’t think that I can do it again.  We will have another dog maybe 7 years down the road, but the only way I can even imagine doing it is through a reputable breeder or getting a puppy at a very young age before anything crazy can set in and then my kid will be bigger than the dog for a bit.  Also, we’d only get a dog if someone was home more often to keep behavior in check.  We’re just so crazy busy right now that even a fish might not work for us.

So anyhow, that’s the really shitty part of what is going on over here these days.  The other more moderate shitty part, by comparison, is H’s sleep.  In the 6-7 weeks, he has only slept through the night twice.  TWICE!!  For him that means that I put him down at 8 and usually he will put himself right to sleep but then will wake up at some point during the night – sometimes around midnight, other times around 2 or 3 or 4am.  At which point he will scream until someone comes to get him.  We tried crying it out, it didn’t work, so now one of us just goes in there and calms him down and then takes him into the guest room and sleeps with him in there.  He will actually sleep pretty well in there, it’s just not ideal.


I don’t know… I’ve done google research and spoken to his doctor and there are different schools of thought around this one.  The avenue that we chose was to just to ride out this phase by making it easier on ourselves (at least we can lay down and try and get some sleep) and easier on him (he gets so worked up by screaming he hyperventilates).  We Might survive.

So now that I’ve scared everyone away from having dogs and kids, let’s talk about some good things.  Abe has introduced me to the triple shot latte.  From Starbucks, I get a: grande triple shot soy vanilla latte.  It costs like over $5 but it really perks me up and is really delicious.  F that stupid Oprah Chai thing.  The ads with her and her stupid tea annoy the crap out of me every time I see it (which is far too often).  Nobody is That excited about tea.

Abe and I went to a Red Sox game last weekend, which was great to A. get out of the house, and B. drink a beer and eat a hot dog.  We got the boys matching Red Sox hoodies, it’s the cutest thing.  H’s barely zips over his belly, but it’s still the best.

Here’s to hoping for more Good things around here!

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