Body 19 Months Postpartum

My body post baby has been kind of a roller coaster.  It took me about 6 months to lose 40 pounds of baby weight (I clearly remember returning to work 3 months post baby wearing my maternity pants but being Ok with that).  After 6 months, I just kept losing and lost a handful more pounds that I didn’t really need to lose – it was purely stress weight loss.  I literally did not have time to eat, I was nursing or pumping a million times a day, and I was so stressed out with work and juggling the world.  I was getting a decent amount of exercise then because we still had our dog who required lots of walks (I did them all), and so that kept me pretty lean.  Then our dog attacked the baby, and she was sent away to live somewhere else and my activity level dropped.  I actually know this because my Jawbone Up band went from me achieving around 8,000-10,000 steps per day down to around 4,000-5,000 steps per day currently.  That’s a massive drop in activity, and I can feel it.

Suddenly, I noticed that I have a belly…which shouldn’t be all that shocking due to my lack of activity these days.  But like, not like a floppy-skin belly from just having a baby, but like a floppy-skin belly with like weight gain under it.  I used to gain like all over the place nice and spread out (and like a lot in my face) but this time it’s like 90% in my belly and like 10% in my arms.  My body is so weird right now!  WTF is this?  I feel like an alien.

Other than my sudden belly, I’ve also had skin issues.  Sometime around May, I noticed that I was developing really dark marks on my face.  It was mostly marks from old acne breakouts, but it also looked just like dark marks from nowhere (could have been the sun plus age) and it was really bad.  I had mixed feelings about it.  I went from being totally mortified and trying to cover it, to not caring at all and wearing no makeup at all to try and let it heal.  Eventually, I made it to the dermatologist and got some prescription, advice, and just recently I began to see a big improvement.  It was very strange how it just came out of nowhere though.  Lesson learned: don’t wait, go to the dermatologist right away or I’ll have to listen to my mom comment on my bad skin (Isn’t that the worst, I’ll have to remember that for the future!).

My hair is different post-baby these days too.  When I was pregnant I achieved thicker hair, post-baby I lost a ton of hair, and then it all grew back in.  You could actually see loads of tiny baby hairs sticking straight up on my head for a few months.  Then later, the texture of my hair and natural state has been altered – my hair actually has texture, it has a wave on one side, there is frizz, and it’s a bit dull.  2 years ago, if I air dried my hair it would be super straight, very fine, and super shiny.  My entire body is confused!

What is the game plan?  I don’t really know… a little of this, and a little of that.  I’m going to try and pack my lunch for the office when I’m there or make a conscious effort to make a healthy lunch at home when I’m here.  I got H some cool bento boxes for his big boy school lunch so I’m going to borrow them and see if that helps me get more excited to pack it.  It’s not the eating of healthy things that’s hard for me, it’s the putting it together that I find really annoying.

This was my lunch from Wednesday – salad with leftover marinated chicken on top and that yellow container is dressing, and super ripe and sweet strawberries.  I also had a Chobani yogurt that I later realized expired (it got tossed, you can’t win them all), and a Kind bar for late afternoon snack.  It went really well, so I’ll just try to keep planning and eating healthy lunches.  I honestly think that a few small changes will be all that I need – healthy packed lunches, less evening sweets, less fast food (but OMG, I am dying to get my hands on Chicken Fries!!), much more water, and more activity when I can handle it.

photo(3)Things that I will not be altering: my coffee, and my wine.  Let’s get freaking real, some things aren’t THAT important.

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Results Pending

We went to the allergist today thinking that H was going to have a skin test done of all his current food allergies.  What actually happened was we rolled in there and H already had hives all over his leg and we had to address that issue and then did a skin test just for sesame – he had a resounding positive on that, and then we had to take him to the pediatrician’s office to get his blood drawn to do the check on the other allergies.  So really today, we left the doctor’s office with 1 more food allergy than we had before and there was a crazy amount of screaming coming from H.  I hope nobody remembers us… when we have to go back tomorrow for his 18 month vaccinations!  OMG.  I know, who schedules appointments like that??  I do… I guess.  I’m the worst.

At home, Abe and I share an office in what traditionally would be the “living room” in a house.  Today, Abe moved his office upstairs into our spare bedroom so that he could have a door and be able to shut it when he needs to work and H is insane.  It’s funny because I work from home a lot, like 2 x per week (while H is not in the house), but if H even sees Abe sit at his desk he just runs over to him demanding he sit on his lap and that can get ugly real fast especially during IT emergencies.  There are a lot of demands from H these days.  Anyhow, so now the Big office is all mine and it looks so much nicer and all around better.  There isn’t any more Stuff crowding the floor.  I can’t stand clutter, so I’m really happy about this change.  And the room is finally baby proofed completely. I can’t tell you how many times H just plucked a screw driver from Abe’s desk or tried to climb on top of his guitar amp or almost hit his head on the corner of Abe’s desk while running by.  Those days are over.

The fruit flies still exist.  I think I found the source, and I don’t even want to talk about it past that – it makes me dry heave.  I set another trap, so I’ll give it another day before really going nuts, but I think it’s working very slowly.  First the vinegar trap was doing better, then the wine trap, and now the vinegar is winning again.  But really, how can fruit flies out smart me?? Those bastards.  I’m going to kill every single one of them.

Tonight, H ate an entire apple.  You think like no big deal, but an apple is actually bigger than his stomach and After he ate a light dinner, drank milk, and a juice, he just bit right into an apple and never stopped.  Without food allergies, his body would probably be shaped like a bowling ball.  Today, I subscribed to Allergic Living – that’s a real magazine, for people like us.  Argh.

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A Fly Invasion – I should Discipline Them Out of Here

Our TV has been broken for 2 weeks now.  At first, I missed it and then I didn’t miss it at all and then I missed it again.  One becomes a lot more productive without it, I don’t think anyone can argue about that one.  H still gets to watch a few of his shows on PBS via his iPad, so he’s completely like whatever about it.  Abe has been trying to repair it on his own by replacing a couple parts… it’s not really working out.  It’s like, do we go out and buy a new tv and spend a lot of money so we can sit on the couch and be unproductive people?  Or do we just not spend any money, miss out of football season, and have more time to… do work at night/clean the kitchen/bake?  It’s under debate.  Why can’t we have both? – we’re just not those people with self control.

We have a serious fly problem in the house.  A month ago it was a cluster fly problem – and if you don’t have this infestation, you never want to have it.  It’s the second time we’ve had it since we have lived in this house, so it has something to do with this place.  The flies are not outside flies, they are inside flies.  They fly in groups, and where there is 1 there will be a bunch of fat stupid flies that are actually pretty easy to kill.  I am pretty sure I killed 45 of them, and I’m not exaggerating, and I have never been so obsessed with killing bugs.  Towards the end of it all, I would roll up a tiny magazine and give one to H and we’d run around the house killing bugs at night.  He was really good at alerting me of a fly by yelling, “BUG!!” and pointing.  That problem took care of itself (by me killing them off), and now we have a serious fruit fly problem.  I think maybe some eggs came in on fruit from the store, and then they hatched and then went crazy with the mass amounts of fruit that I always have for H.  There are always bananas on the counter.  Anyhow, my fly killing obsession is back.  There are currently 3 traps set for these assholes right now.  2 different red wine traps and an apple vinegar trap.  If there are any flies left in the house tomorrow, I might lose it.  We also have a wasp problem outside, but that’s something that I’m not going to try and fix myself.  I think that I’ll let the seasons and weather changed take care of them this year, but we have like 10 nests on or around the house and that’s just not Ok.

I have been putting a lot of thought into the kitchen set that I want to get for H.  After a few weeks, I decided that I want to wait until Christmas.  I feel that if he gets it now, it won’t be as fun or as exciting.  We spoil him completely, but I really don’t want him to get used to receiving really big gifts like that all during the year for no reason now that he’s almost old enough to understand these things.  Plus, we really don’t need it until the weather gets too cold to play outside.  It gives me time to keep looking for a used wooden set or wait for a good sale too.

I’ve been reading the Discipline book by Dr. Sears…. and it’s EYE opening.  I also read another book by him, and referenced his website a whole lot when H was a newborn.  At this point, I can say that I don’t believe in all of his methods – but there are still a lot of good ideas/tips/insight/examples/personal experiences that are worth reading in this book.  I’ve actually tested a couple things that have worked really well, and you’d probably think that they’re so obvious but they’re not.  Parents have so many choices on how to respond or react to their kids.  The other day, H was obsessing over this huge pepper grinder that we have.  It’s really big, not a toy, and there was really no need for him to be playing with it but when I tried to take it away he started to lose it and scream.  An example in the book states that you should not just take something away from your child because it’s rude (adults don’t just grab things away from other adults), you should distract them or persuade them away from it effectively.  Like not be like: oh here’s an ice cream cone instead of that pepper shaker.  But instead find something else reasonable that he may also have interest in.  I asked him if he wanted to go wash his hands (it’s like his new favorite thing), so he put the pepper shaker down and ran to the bathroom.  That’s one example of a method of discipline that I had never really considered A. to be discipline, or B. to be truly effective.  There was a plethora of other failures that day, but 1 win was nice.

Tomorrow is a really big day for the bear – annual allergy testing.  Fingers Crossed that maybe we’ll walk away with 1 or 2 less food allergies!  It will be a very very long day at the Allergist office…

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Quick Conversations

Actual conversations with the bear:

Me: H do you have a poop in your pants?
H: Yeah.   (he did)

Me: Do you have a poop in your pants?
H: No.  (he did)

Abe: H how was your day?
H: Mamma Dadda Nana Papa
Abe: Oh really?

Me: What do you want for breakfast today?
Me: Do you want an apple?
H: Yeah.

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Getting Bigger Each Day

In two weeks, H begins his transition from the “First Steps” classroom into the “Young Toddler” classroom at school.  This will be his third room at school as he ages out of each one.  When he moved from Infant into First Steps, the biggest transition was that they had a set naptime and at a certain age they napped on mats.  He actually did very well with that, which was a major surprise.  When he moves into Young Toddler, they will begin to assist in potty training if the kids are interested and they supply snacks at snack time (not really for H because of all of his allergies) so it’s more of a standardized classroom event.  Infant and First Steps also shared teachers and helpers during certain hours, so he won’t see his favorite helper anymore and there will be new to us teachers (omg, I have anxiety just thinking about it) but luckily his BFF is also our favorite babysitter so at least we have that.

This might sound like crazy or over the top, but I’d really like to find a parenting class.  I think that H is a mostly normal kid, but he’s very strong willed and I just don’t want to turn into that parent that deals with insanity on a daily basis and then makes it worse by unknowingly doing stupid things because like how would I know – I’ve only ever been a parent to a guinea pig and a dog and the guinea pig died and the dog was nuts.  It’s like up until recently, we took care of H, and now suddenly that he’s a true toddler we need to parent him too.  When we speak to him, he mostly understands.  When he hits me, he knows that it’s wrong and he does it anyway and laughs.  When he gets frustrated he lashes out by hitting, or throwing his body on the ground or by head butting the floor.  I don’t even know if that’s normal… I just know that it’s not really a good thing to head butt the floor.  So then I Google parenting classes and pretty much the only thing that I could even find was for court mandated classes – am I the only person that fears being a parent??  It made me feel even more stupid.  This is really stressing me out.

Also – the penis itchiness is back with H.  No idea WTF it is.  There’s like nothing there.  We’re at a total loss at what to do about this mystery Something that’s been driving H crazy for months now and it’s absolutely Not exploration, there really is something happening.  Today, I’m trying Triple Paste.  It seems to be helping actually, but is it normal to only get diaper rash like right on a penis?  Google tells me no.  I have tried almost every diaper cream on the market, and almost ever diaper.

Based on my recent diaper research, I can say this:

  • Seventh Generation is too rough in texture.  I felt that they are Ok but not as comfortable for H as others are.  I really liked the wider velcro though.  I used these when he was like a little baby and really liked them then when he was moving around less.
  • Huggies Dry Fit are weird.  I don’t feel they’re really like “Dry” fit, and I don’t like the thinner velcro.  They fit H’s body pretty well though.  I could really take them or leave them.
  • Honest diapers are really nice (and expensive).  They are very soft, and they hold pee just as well as any other diapers I’ve seen. They fit is tough though, probably better for bigger/taller babies or we’re right in the middle of two sizes.  H is really compact, so the back goes up a bit higher than I’d like and the leg openings are slightly bigger than I’d like as well – however, we use them because I feel they are good for his skin and chafe the least.
  • Kirkland (Costco) diapers are still my favorite for H.  They fit his body like a glove, and they absorb just as well as any other diapers and they are relatively cheap.  It annoys me that I actually need to go to the store to buy them because I feel like I am there like every other week buying a box.  We still go through a ton of diapers!

So at the moment I’m using Honest and Kirkland.  On the upside of this adventure, I think that H will be on the easier side to potty train.  When I let him roam around naked, he’s started to give me indication before he pees – but he also tries to touch his pee stream, so like whatever!

Also, just recently in the last two weeks or so I noticed that H is gravitating towards things that I would consider to be for Older toddlers.  He now likes the PBS show, “Caillou”, which is about a boy who’s 4 years old.  I know, WTF kind of name is Caillou?  I don’t know, that alone made me not want to watch it, but it’s actually pretty good.  At school the other day he played hockey, like with a stick, and he was apparently very good at it.  Everyone told me about it for days, how well he did with the coordination and everything.  Today, his crib was lowered to the lowest tier.  The only think keeping him in the crib was that his sleep sack restricts his legs, but it was only a matter of time before we would have heard him hit the hardwood floor some morning.  Also today, we had a 10 minute conversation on the phone.  Like, I was talking and he was “talking” but it was a two-way conversation that went on and on as opposed to him looking at the phone all confused like he would have 5 months ago.  Anyway, time is flying and I have no idea how to handle anything!

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Awesome Things

I almost freaked out yesterday because H’s diaper rash took a sudden turn for the worst in the evening, but luckily it looks much much better today (phew).  On the downside, Abe totally got H’s hand foot and mouth.  We can’t win.

One of my past times for relaxing is window shopping through the interwebs. Let me share my latest finds because they’re totally worth passing on:

Hape coffee makerThe Hape Coffee Maker.  It looks just like a Keurig!  I wonder if they have one that looks like a Nespresso… no.  I wonder if H will grow up not knowing what a coffee pot looks like.

kids golf cartChild Sized Golf Cart.  Who hasn’t always wanted to have one? I would actually be afraid for my neighbors if we had this, H would totally drive it right into someone’s house.

mini boden tightsMini Boden Girl’s Tights. These are so so cute.  They have other ones too, but I am not sure that H would be Ok with wearing them this fall.  He makes a much better looking boy than a girl.

grocery store A Little Grocery Store. It looks really nice!  Real grocery stores look pretty shabby by comparison.  I think H would be confused, like what should I do here?  He’d need the cart in order to really understand.

big waffle blocksBig Waffle Blocks. Does anyone remember these?  I totally had them.  They were the best.  H totally needs them, but man they are expensive.

pirate sandboPirate Sandbox.  Personally, I’m a huge fan of the green plastic turtle sandbox because it’s just so classic but also because that lid goes on pretty tight and animals can’t live in there and uninvited guests can’t make a home inside only to surprise you later.  However, this is like over the top awesome.  I can see H trying to drive that boat for hours or like 5 minutes which is an hour in toddler time.

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No Diapers, No Problems

Hand Foot and Mouth + yeast diaper rash / wenis irritation = where normal parenting ends and desperation sets in.

At first, HFM seemed not so bad.  I thought H had a pretty mild case with a very low grade fever (99.0) and a handful of clear but raised little bumps.  This was Wednesday, and he was joyfully chasing me around with a foam pirate sword.  By Saturday, I wanted to fucking kill myself and the jerk who spread it into his school and the jerk that didn’t clean his classroom well enough and the jerk who didn’t tell the other jerks to clean better.  He had big broken sores all over his knees, ankles, feet, butt, hands, and probably something in his mouth but he never really let me look in there.  He was no longer joyfully doing anything – except for swimming in his old infant tub (naked) out on the deck.  I was able to distract him enough from his discomfort during the daytime hours and thankfully it wasn’t a million degrees out there.

photo(42) I’m not sure what was worse – the HFM or the yeast diaper rash because the HFM was affecting the diaper rash.  He basically ran around the house butt naked 90% of Friday, Saturday, and Sunday to try and combat the problem.  His problem seems to be mostly that moisture just gets trapped in there too long because he pees NonStop.  Like 8 x per hour would be normal for him.  So his wenis gets irritated too for some reason and that hurts him a lot I guess – there is a lot of screaming.  I followed him around with a towel so each time he peed or Most times he peed I would throw the towel under him to catch it.  Anyhow, it’s Monday and it’s still somewhat bothersome so I don’t know how to fix it – and I especially don’t know how to tell someone else to care for it (daycare providers) and I find that really stressful – the idea that my son has a problem but they won’t be able to treat it the way that he needs.  The answer seems to be: no diapers ever and that’s totally not a real option.

I also don’t know how to hold down a job anymore.  My child is sick more than the average kid.  I take more sick days to care for him than I am even allotted, which really is the more important thing to do.  Nobody has “spoken” to me about it yet, and due to the nature of my job I am not sure that anyone actually will but all of it still weighs on me.  It’s 100% impossible to do my job with a young kid.  – that’s a whole other post.  I’m really thinking about when to throw in the towel at this point, like I’m thinking about dates and I’m trying to imagine my life where a Blackberry isn’t necessary and I am not constantly juggling a crazy schedule.

I took him to the playground today very late in the afternoon because we just had to get out for a bit and I felt he was healed enough to be out in the general public in fresh air while wearing pants.  He went down little kid slides today by himself and tried to go down big kid slides without my help.  There were lots of other families and moms there.  There was a little boy there that picked up a handful of pebbles and just threw them up in the air like an asshole – and another little kid (like no older than 6 years old) yells out: “You really shouldn’t throw rocks, what if someone has to go to the hospital because you threw rocks?  You’re going to have to pay like… $1,000.”  I laughed so hard.  I wonder if his parents work in insurance – he’s so right on with that number.  Later, I was swinging H next to another mom and we were making small talk about the kids.  I said something about just having to get out of the house with him and his age or whatever and she’s like, “oh yes, Henry is 15 months so a little younger than your’s and then my other one is…. well frankly, he’s just so Annoying these days”.  I laughed so hard inside, I only smiled outside.  The kid seemed really well behaved and mild mannered, but H is also like that in public settings – yet another great reason to get out.

My biggest win of the day though – I found a $60 toy organizer for $20 through a town yard sale site.  It’s basically like a local Craigslist thing.  I found it online and then had it in my possession less than an hour later, and it is in perfect condition – you can tell it belonged to a girl.  It’s not super attractive but I hate to spend money on stupid stuff like that and it serves its purpose well – toys are off the floor and somewhat organized and we didn’t have to assemble the stupid thing.

photo(43)It’s only Monday… everyone try to make it through the rest of the week without a call to the pediatrician.

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The Longest Day

Yesterday was a Very long day.  I had put H down the night before with a very slight fever, and figured it was probably nothing.  I woke up around 5am and got ready anticipating H waking around 6am (Abe wasn’t here), but he slept and slept until after 7:30am.  It’s so out of character for him to do that, especially sleeping late two days in a row.  Finally, I was getting him ready for school and when I was changing his diaper – things didn’t look quite right and thought that maybe was the reason for the slight fever if things were getting infected or irritated or whatever, so I decided to keep him home and wait until 8:30am when the nurseline opened at his pediatrician’s office.

As I was waiting for 8:30 to roll around, I started to notice some bumps on his body. It was totally hand foot and mouth.  His classroom has a notice on the door about it like every few weeks about having another kid diagnosed with it.  I had thought we were pretty lucky so far for never getting it when H usually gets every little cold or runny nose going around.

I brought him into the doctor and I was there for the diaper rash issue, but I was happy to kill two birds with one stone.  The diaper rash is yeast – which totally explains why it’s been going on for such a mother effing long time.  Like probably 3 months, and I’d seriously been losing my mind over diaper brands/wipes/needing to try this or that or whatever – but it was just freaking yeast.  After the first application of the script, it looked much worse but he stopped itching it like a mad man, so it’s working.  She also confirmed the hand foot and mouth.

After the appointment it was just the two of us… I couldn’t take him to go do something fun since he is contagious, but he was obviously feeling totally fine.  Keeping him entertained in the house was beyond draining – and it was 92 degrees outside so we were just trapped.  Admittedly, things got pretty weird and at one point I just let him do whatever he wanted to because I was so so tired (also this is why the house is always a dump – I totally didn’t pick up after this).

H in laundry basket H with pirate swordSo it got me thinking – why was it so hard?  How do people do this with more than 1 of these crazy kids like every single day?  Is it because my child is insane – or is it because I’m tired and distracted all of the time or could I be planning activities better for him?  Maybe it’s just his age?  Should I just buy a parenting book and get over it already?

Anyhow, he went to bed and then was up at 3am – for the rest of the day.  Argh.

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So He Slept In

6:55am in my house Right Now: H is still sleeping and Mom is enjoying a coffee.

I’ve been up since 4am preparing everything for our day so I wouldn’t have to deal with a frustrated toddler while trying to put on makeup and pack lunches.  Like I took a shower, dried my hair (I never have time to dry my hair), put on makeup, made a hot lunch for H, drank a coffee, cleaned up the kitchen, got his morning milk ready… and he’s still sleeping (and he slept through the night!)


photo(16) photo(15)I totally have nothing important to say at this hour so here goes a flood of random stuff on the top of my brain:

  • My Google search of the week is “Patrick Swayze Wig” – super random, but we do own one of those.
  • Why is it that my 22 lb. toddler fits into a size 5 diaper when he’s in the size 4 weight category?  Like by a lot.  He’s only in the 30th percentile, but is it because his belly is massive or because he goes to the bathroom more than any human ever created?  I tried a size 4 on him again yesterday in another brand just to see if it was a brand thing or like a real thing, but it’s real.  It was obviously too tight on him.
  • I love love the Ole Henrickson Power Peel from Sephora (sorry can’t get the link to insert).  I bought a $16 two pack of it, and it’s very good.  From the chemical peels that I’ve received at my dermatologist office (a couple years ago), I can say that this is probably the closest at-home peel that I’ve used so it’s well worth the money.  I leave on the real treatment part a little longer than it says to.
  • I’m currently looking for a nice looking wooden play kitchen for H.  I’m trying to either buy used or on sale.  I just hate to spend real money on this sort of thing but I also don’t want it to be the biggest eyesore ever.

    It’s 7:04am… It’s past time to wake the beast / the sleeping angel – depending on his mood today!

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Suck City

This was a very strange weekend.

Saturday, we took H to the beach even knowing that it wasn’t going to be the most beautiful day of the weekend.  We pull up and the gate says “green heads in season, no refunds”.  It didn’t matter since we have a season pass, but I was like: wow, warning noted.  I think because it wasn’t too hot or too humid the bugs weren’t out, but the seagulls sure were.

A really aggressive seagull swooped down into our beach stuff, and stole an unopened bag of Popcorners and then flew away with our neighbors chasing it.  We saw it from a distance.  It was pretty hilarious to see a bird flying away with H’s fun gluten free snack for the day in it’s shiny bag.  I was thinking that stupid bird wouldn’t be able to open the bag anyhow – but then like an hour later we saw a gull eat a crab whole, so I guess it would have found a way.  We left with bird turd on our Sportbrella too – gah!

We had a solid 5 awesome nights of H sleeping this week, like he slept until around 6:30 each morning.  Saturday night that exploded all over our faces.  He’s getting 3 molars at once.  The top ones seem really slow, but there is a bottom one that came in super fast and really looks pretty awful.  Anyhow, we’re assuming that’s the reason he woke up at 9:45 then 11:30 then 1:30 and stayed up until close to 4.  He was screaming and sobbing, and in obvious discomfort but it was so hard to get him back to sleep.  I can’t physically rock him back to sleep and then drop back into his crib asleep anymore now that he’s heavier and longer.  It’s a serious balancing act, and totally impossible.  Abe has better luck than I do.  So thankfully, he eventually did get him back down after more drugs and milk and soothing.

The little man was back up like an hour later, so I took him downstairs and gave him milk and hoped he’d fall back asleep to Daniel Tiger – he did.  My jam is getting him back to sleep and then bringing him into the guest bed where I can gently lay him next to me and he will sleep soundly without waking.  I was about to fall back to sleep myself and the freaking doorbell rang at 6am… and I ignored it.  I thought that maybe we had some kind of appointment that we forgot about like cable service or something, and then the person would Not Stop Knocking.  Like, at this point I was fearing that H would wake up and I was about to open the window and scream out to the person to go away!  I peeled myself out from under the sleeping child and saw that it was a police car – so I booked it downstairs (braless and with birds nest hair) and opened the door.  It turns out that during the night someone (or teens is my guess) switched everyone’s mailboxes on the street – our’s was gone and across the street at a different house.  So the police officer is telling me about all this and I’m like: my kid is sleeping upstairs, please don’t wake him up (whispering desperately)… but he only had 1 volume of voice I guess.  Then Abe scurries down the stairs being like WHO IS THAT?! And the whole conversation happened again.  Somehow H slept through that, but OMG, I would have killed someone if he woke up.  We got our mailbox back btw.  Idiot kids.

Later, H somehow got really bad chaffing from his diaper.  I’m not sure which one because he wore 3 different kinds today (Huggies overnight, Seventh Generation, and Honest), but it was like a demon took over his body.  Total Toddler Meltdown x 10.  We gave him painkillers thinking it was maybe the teething, and tried every single thing under the sun for the chaffing – like every lube and ointment known to man including no diaper.  He was just screaming in agony.  I’m not sure what worked, but it was probably the Benedryl and thick layer of Aquaphor.  It knocked him out for 2 hours for a refreshing nap.  He woke up much happier and the chaffing looked much better after some time to heal without him touching it.

It actually gets worse – a few hours later he pooped on the rug.  Then he peed through his lobster high chair.  He like way overfilled a diaper (in a super short period of time), and I was on the ground cleaning up his dropped noodles when a stream of liquid came sprinkling down.  It was pee.  I knew right away.  I think he’s made up of 90% pee.  Later, I let him run around without a diaper again (on the deck outside) and he peed 8 times in less than an hour.  That’s not normal right?

That was not a very nice weekend.

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